My Santiago

Dénouement (Dedicated to my father who died of Alzheimer’s on 25 th June 2005)

I bend to kiss his forehead, Now cooler, No longer flushed cheeks, I whisper, “Love you dad”.

Waiting for some flicker of recognition, Some sign that he knows

that I have been there these last seven days!

That he knew, I was his son! That he knew, I loved him!

But none came. Instead, The merest flicker of eyelids, A pursing of the lips, A loose bronchial cough!

It’s all in there, (Locked away – forever fused in a tangled web of synapses

Impassable now) The recognition, The life passed,

The soul, The man!

Chemistry and Religion; Science and God.

Irretrievable!

The delicate balance Between care and care - less, Between fixing and palliative, Between restoring and death, With least pain.

So I turn on my heel, Walk out of his room With a parting glance over my shoulder at the physical likeness of my dad. Now infirm. And turn the bend in the corridor,