Book - A Mammoth of a Time

A Mammoth of a Time Team Name: IT’S NOT A COLANDER, IT’S A RELIGIOUS GARMENT By Ziggy Encoch, Lilliana Swainson, Giulia Provenzano, Jack Colahan, Andre Vasquez, Calvin Walther, Thomas Gray, Mitchell Hamilton, Nico Verin, Chloe Garrier (Illustrator)

Copyright Published by IT’S NOT A COLANDER IT’S A RELIGIOUS GARMENT, Somerset College, Somerset Drive, Mudgeeraba 4213 QLD AUS. By Ziggy Encoch, Lilliana Swainson, Giulia Provenzano, Jack Colahan, Andre Vasquez, Calvin Walther, Thomas Gray, Mitchell Hamilton, Nico Verin, Chloe Garrier Copyright © 2018, Somerset College. All rights reserved. This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without written permission. Enquires should be made to the publisher

Chapter 1 “All aboard the Mammoth!” Mum yelled, “We’re off to Tassie!”.

The Mammoth is my Mum’s favourite baby. I reckon she loves it even more than us. A huge, silver land-cruiser which I reckon can do just about anything. We’ve been driving all year as part of her new project – Mum's a travel journo to the extreme. Most recently she’s souped it up with a broadcast tower on top – she's turned it into a portable radio station! At the end of every day she sits in the boot and lets her devoted listeners know what she’s been doing for the day. She’s a classic adventurer, and she’s been everywhere you can go without running the risk of becoming a political prisoner, from deep in the Mexican jungle of Bonampak to the remote areas of eastern Russia she’s been there. Mum’s tough as nails, with nerves of steel and is capable as anything. Dad... Not so much. Dad works as a beautician and I suppose you could say opposites attract. He’s about a foot shorter than her, and he’d definitely lose to mum in a fist fight. Then there’s my twin brother Quentin. He doesn’t like to talk too much, mostly just draws. He’s really into graphic design at the moment, but that means he doesn’t look up from his iPad too often. After Mum, my favourite member of the family is Rory, our Kelpie. He has the sweetest goofy smile, loves to chase his own tail and is the best listener I’ve ever come across. Mum’s project that we’re all taking part in is a road trip around Australia. We’ve been almost the whole way around and the only place we’ve got left is the cold wet armpit of Van Diemens Land. You might ask, how do you get to Tasmania on a road trip? I wondered the same question. Turns out that it’s easy when you’ve got a boat. Even easier when you’ve got a land rover that turns into one. I think that Mammoth must be buoyant because of all the extra fat. Either way, the Tasman Strait was crossed with ease despite my lack of understanding of the Mammoth’s internal mechanisms. “She’s a beauty!” Said Mum, in sync with the steady rumbling of the Mammoth’s outboard. She stood beaming against the wind, her Akubra hat firmly fixed in place, despite the howling Southeasters winds. On the horizon, our destination slowly rolled into place, the dull yet beautiful glow of Hobart as alluring as ever. “That’ll be us soon,” she says.

That night we slept under the stars on the roof of the Mammoth, the night was so clear one could make out all the intricate constellations, I could stare up there for hours. There’s something so comforting thinking about how tiny and insignificant we are compared to the rest of this giant, unknown galaxy full of wonder. I woke up cold but refreshed. I love sleeping outside, I’ve gotten used to it. Today we’re heading up Mount Wellington. I never look forward to the long drives, but up mountains I always think it’s worth it up the top. It’s a fairly long drive all the way to and then up Mount Wellington and we tend to find ways to pass the time by ourselves, but Mum hates to see us not talking. Quiet Quentin’s not the social type and it drives her nuts. In this particular instance, she tried to remedy this with a game of I-Spy. “A clock ?” asked Quentin, not looking up from his iPad. “How would it be a clock ?” I ridiculed him. “Where on this mountain would there be a clock ?” “Shut up Mia, I thought she said inside!” Umm Okay, Quentin bit rude! “A car?” Said Dad. That wasn’t the answer. “You lot are terrible at this,” Mum said. “You just ask bad questions,” replied Quentin. “There’s not a thing on this mountain that starts with the letter C!” “Well maybe if you would look up from that ridiculous iPad you’d notice something for once!” Mum said, making glaring eye contact through the rear-view mirror.

“Stupid...” he mimicked. “Pardon me?” said Mum. Uh-oh. We can tell she’s getting annoyed because Mum never actually mishears anything, of course she would have to have super-human hearing. Quentin freezes up but doesn’t shift his gaze from his iPad. She spins around. “Well excuse me young man, don’t ignore me! Give me that right now!” “Emma!” Dad squirms with anxiety. “The wheel!” Meanwhile, Mum is wrestling with Quentin, half her body in the back seat. I don’t know how she’s managed to hold onto the wheel this long. “EMMA!!” Dad screams. We swerve as he (strangely valiantly) lurches over and grabs the wheel. There’s a giant screech, we all lunge forward as the seatbelts struggle to repel the hurling force, and next thing I know, we’re rolling down the side of a mountain. “Are you guys okay?” asks Dad. Now I’m not 100% sure how we left that terrible fall without a scratch but I’m going to say it was the Mammoth. This thing is indestructible and probably saved our lives (numerous times). “All good, Dad.” Similar shouts came from Mum and Quentin. Then it started. “PATTY!!! How could you veer off the road! We could have DIED! Only good old Mammoth saved us!” “Thanks, Mum,” came from Quentin. “Don’t you start young man! If it weren’t for your buzzing little device I wouldn’t have been so distracted.” Mum said turning on my brother. “Well little bro, I found your clock ,” I said looking around. We appear to have rolled into a cave that is, for some reason, covered in strange clocks on the walls. “I am not your little brother! We are twins! And I’m older!” It has always been a struggle to make Quentin realise the truth but that isn’t important now. “Look around.” They saw it too. We heard soft pattering and there was this dog-like animal. Our jaws all drop simultaneously as the mysterious creature started to speak. “why you are humans! Real people! Oh people. It has been so long since I’ve seen people. Come, come!” “Not to be rude, but what on earther are you?” Mum asked, immediately switching into her curious reporter persona. “Oh silly me, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Ebenzo, the last Tasmanian tiger time lord. Now we must be going, lots to see,” he chirped excitedly. ----

Mum shrunk the Mammoth. We don’t have many options. We have no idea where we are or the way out, and the whole family sharing the quality of curiosity we follow the ridiculous talking, extinct animal. Oh, did I mention that we can shrink the Mammoth? It does pretty much anything. We can shrink it, camouflage it, make it invincible. You get it. I have no idea where on earth got that thing, but it is literally out of this world. “Now, this might be new, but time travel is always such fun. Come everybody, hop through the portal.” Ebenzo shrieked with excitement. And that was the first time I time traveled. Chapter 2 The first thing I felt was the feeling of falling. My insides jiggling round inside of me, it almost felt like that floating sensation in water. My heart leapt into my mouth as the wind whistled behind my ears. I opened my eyes in shock. Everything had slowed down, seconds felt like minutes and there was nothing but the sky around me. Suddenly, there was a high-pitched sound of Dad screaming like there was a sale at Pitt Street Mall. Mum was still with her hands against her chest and her eyes closed, as if she was practicing a bizarre survival technique. The ground was coming closer to me as I held my hands out to block out the fall. But the fall was blocked by an enormously large cushion of sand as I gently lowered to the ground. The next thing I knew, I was completely covered in it. The sun burned my back and my eyes began to prickle and sting. The scream had stopped but had been replaced by a whiny complaining voice. My Dad stood drenched in sand. Mum used this moment to whip out her high tech tape recorder and vlog to her countless followers and listeners showing how lost we were. The worst thing being that our mysterious tour guide was conveniently nowhere to be found. “We have just entered a desert, its hot and dry and water cannot be seen... hold up...” her eyes widened as she slowly turned towards me. “oh thank goodness, Mammoth is here!”. Dad turned, more annoyed than anyone. “My hair is covered in sand,” he complained as he turned towards the car. “oh please, you hardly have any hair!” My patience must have gotten lost in the fall. I so felt tired and annoyed, “What about us, your dear children?” He acted like he didn’t hear me and waddled towards the Mammoth. My brother and I joined him. Rory sat in the front seat, tail wagging, unaffected by the fall that we took. “Signal. We need a signal”, Mum realized. It amazed me that she could be thinking about a signal when there was no sign of food or water. Dad, sweating in the heat, getting more and more annoyed by the sand accumulating in is socks and sandals, huffed, “Signal for what? I need to wash my hair and change these socks, now!” I still could not get over that they had trusted something so strange and obscure. I cursed whoever thought that putting a portal next to a road was a good idea (honestly!). My eyes scanned the car for

anything that would help. A deep thump echoed of the exterior of the car as Mum commando crawled to the top in search of a silly signal. My brother sat with his eyes resting on the floor. Suddenly in a flash a mob of angry people rushed around the block of sand. Strangely dressed and screaming and talking in a strange language together in annoyance. They pointed at it and then at us and then back at it. They then pointed up and it is then that I saw the huge block of sand that resembled this huge animal. I felt like I’d seen it in the school textbook that my teacher would have had on display during a lesson. “What in the world! No way, how? It’s the Sphinx!” Mum spoke in shock.

“Wait a second, I recognize this place. This looks like that picture that I saw in an educational history chapter published by BBC.” I rolled my eyes, “Dad, I'm sure that that was a picture book.” The people turned and looked at us incredulously before, turning and walking off. A loud sound came from behind me. “Welcome to Ancient Egypt!”

I was furious. We were in such danger and trouble yet his eyes were playful and calm. However, I didn’t listen to what he was saying. I was concentrated on finding an escape, he had completely ruined my holiday!

Chapter 3

The clock whirred for another time as the light started to glow again. Dad’s eyes filled with worry whilst Mum stood there fists clenched, ready to defend at the same time being half-confident-half- curious about the situation. Quentin was trembling and clutching his iPad. But instead of falling like we did before, we started to fly. I can tell you it’s the most euphoric experience, exactly how every kid imagines it, you feel lighter than the clouds as you drift in this giant playground also known as the sky. So light, so free, so fresh I wish I could drift around weightless sea of blue for eternity. The ground below us disappeared as the hum that my ears noticed earlier was amplified. Our low profile was shattered as we heard war cries in the distance accompanied by a hurricane of spears. Instead of worrying like Dad and Quentin, Mum only laughed as their weapons bounced off the chassis of the Mammoth as we climbed inside. Our moment of relief was short-lived as the super-car started hurtling towards the Pyramids of Giza. Quick-thinking Quentin grabbed the wheel and swerved out of the way. Into the Sphinx. Dad screamed, Quentin remained silent, Mum crossed her fingers, and Ebenzo had

a smirk on his face. My thoughts about the thoughts of the tiger were halted as I was blinded by a flashing light. “What are we going to do now? Where are we? And most importantly, where is my precious recorder!” Mum ranted. We knew that Mum was loyally dedicated to her precious podcast, but this level of dedication was insane. We just time travelled to Ancient Egypt; and the first thing that popped into her head was her podcast? The arguing continued for a couple of minutes before Quentin pointed out the window. Our jaws dropped as we saw the words draped on the old-style banner: ‘Romeo and Juliet’. However, the moment of silence didn’t last.

“Romeo and Juliet? What is this, Shakespeare?” Dad asked. He was combing the little hair he had left on his head on one hand and in the other holding a futuristic looking mirror. It was ironic really. He was a short stout beautician who worked with models. My thoughts were interrupted by the incessant arguing of my family, who were subsequently interrupted by our new Tasmanian friend. “You mean when. And yes, we are in the era of Shakespeare, the original Globe theatre in London” Ebenzo announced grandly. “Anyone up for some Romeo and Juliet?” We just all collectively sighed and stepped out of the Mammoth, making sure to shrink it so no-one could find it. We were probably stuck in Shakespeare’s time, so we decided to find the silver lining instead of moping.

After nudging Quentin repeatedly to get him moving and enduring Mum’s blabbering about Egypt, we entered the intriguing Globe Theatre. Although it was not the prestigious, modern atmosphere you might find at the theatre today, it was brilliant! The Elizabethan architecture so old yet so new in this instance was intriguing, everything was handcrafted and it was truly beautiful. A group of people gathered in the audience of the circular courtyard. The peasants were on the floor whilst the royalty sat up on higher balconies until we saw good Queen Bess herself. It seemed like the only way to pass time was in the theatre, but we couldn’t fit in the dirty pit of peasants. Being the natural explorers we were, we sneakily devised a plan to make our way up to the higher levels unnoticed. Quentin suggested that we just walk up the stairs like nothing unusual was happening. As smart as Quentin is (he is a digital artist), that idea was just plain stupid. Dad chipped in too, saying that we should ‘borrow’ some clothes to fit in. It was a struggle to find any other alternative, so we went with it. We cleverly managed to scare off some snooty fancy-pants barons using Ebenzo (you should have seen their wrinkly faces). Their clothes didn’t fit us, but it didn’t matter because Dad was having a stroppy freak-out about the fabric. But as soon as we managed to get to the top floor, Quentin saw Shakespeare himself and dropped his iPad. All eyes were on us. Just as things couldn’t get worse, Dad’s phone rang. Bagpipes. Why bagpipes. Mum let off a chuckle before the Mammoth came bursting through the doors of the theatre, providing us with an escape from this place and time. When we got inside and started flying away, and Mum started podcasting again. “It was a shame that we couldn’t see more of Romeo and Juliet. Romeo seemed like such an interesting character.” As soon as Mum said that, the humming started again. “You think that’s an interesting character? Get ready for this…,” said Ebenzo as a familiar white light engulfed my vision. Chapter 4 We jumped out of Mammoth. It was hot and dry and we could a faintly the repeated bang of gunshots Ebenzer yelped “Comeeeee onnnnn slooow coaaachess, Lettt’ssss Goooo!!!!!!!”. I spotted a man sprintting the distance. He had a huge grizzly, mangled beard, all wiry and ash black that reminded me of someone I learnt about in school, Ned Kelly. “Get a move on!”, Mum said, “We need to hide in the bush, now!” The bush was all rough and prickly , and I tried not to think about the countless creepy crawlies which could bite me and slip into my pants right now. The man who looked like Ned Kelly was edging getting closer. Mum looked like she was going through some huge epiphany. Eventually, she said “THAT’S NED KELLY!!” I was right, he didn’t just look like Ned Kelly, and he was!!

“Mia, get over here” said Mum. “Have you ever wanted to meet a bushranger?” Dad screamed “ARE YOU INSANE WOMAN? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?” “Come on darling, when else are the kids going to get this once in a lifetime opportunity?” smiled Mum Dad glared, but he knew that he didn’t really have a say in the matter. “Pleasseeeeee!!! Can I meet him?”, I exclaimed. They never had to answer though, Rory ran, barking towards Ned Kelly. We couldn’t stop him. We all watched, frozen in dread. I couldn’t think of anything but Rory, I just ran. I remembered all the stories I learnt about Ned Kelly. There was so much killing and all I could think was, what if he kills Rory? Nothing happened though. Rory got to Ned Kelly and he started patting Rory’s head. “What’s up mate?” said Ned in a chilled tone. I knew I wanted to meet him but when I was actually there I could hardly think. I muttered “Uhhh, thhhatttt’s my dog.”

“he’s a bloody nice one, mate lucky to ‘ave im” said Ned Kelly while petting Rory, he had the strongest Aussie accent I had ever heard, I was having trouble understanding the man. “Th-thanks,” I uttered with a hint of fear. “Is something wrong?” “I’ve heard some stories about you, they say you’ve … done things” “come now mate, not everything you hear is true” said Ned in a stern voice Our conversation quickly ended as I heard someone running from behind me. I was expecting it to be Mum, but it wasn’t, Dad was there. He’s normally reserved and stays back so I was really confused. I could hear a faint scream from him “A snake bit Mum and she can’t move” I knew I should have been scared but I really wasn’t. It was my Mum and she’s never scared so I wasn’t scared for her. Dad finally caught up to me. Dad explained what happened to Mum so quickly he was stumbling over words. When Dad finally finished talking, Ned said, “Maybe this’ll help?” as he whipped out a vial from his pocket. I was expecting Dad to say no and get Ebenzo to take us to a hospital. He didn’t though. Dad took the vial and ran towards the Mammoth where Mum and Quentin were sitting. I had never seen him run so fast. Dad rushed to grab a needle from his beautician kit, proud his trade had finally come in handy. He removed the clear liquid from the vial into the needle and smoothly injected it in Mum’s arm. Mum started hyperventilating. The vial didn’t help. We were waiting, and nothing happened. Until, a moment later, she stopped hyperventilating and she started walking around like there was nothing ever wrong.

From the stress of everything, all we wanted to do was get out of there and visit somewhere else. Ebenzo yelled in an excited screech “Ooooooo, I know exactly where we should we go next!” We all jumped in the Mammoth and off we went.

Chapter 5 The familiar door opened in front of us and without further hesitation or contemplation we drove through and dived into another time period. There was a brief pause and to the surprise to everyone Dad was the first to speak. “Are you kidding me?!” he started. Mum let out an exasperating sigh, we were all prepared for one of his usual monologues about safety and how we were all irresponsible.

Instead, what received was: “That was bloody amazing!”

A giant grin grew across Mum’s face. And if I looked close enough I could see a smirk unfolding on Quentin’s face. It was a while before we could calm Dad down enough to continue our adventure. “So where are we now Ebenzo?” I asked. “Western Australia, 1932.” He replied, sniffing away at our new surroundings. “What on earth are we doing here?” He questioned. “This is the most boring time and place in human history!” “On the contrary, this is one of the most entertaining chapters of Australian history,” Ebenzo said. “ The Great Emu War”

Dad looked gob-smacked, but any attempt to speak was interrupted by a rumbling on the horizon. A rustic ute mounted by two grizzled soldiers and an old-fashioned machine gun pulled into view. “Ebenzo,” said Mum slowly. “What on earth have you gotten us into” The rumbling noise suddenly, exploded from the bushes, alongside a charging mob of Emus followed by a monstrous cloud of dust. Quentin and I were screaming our lungs out, Rory was barking frantically and poor Dad just stood there, paralysed. The men didn’t stand a chance against the hoard of Emu’s that swarmed them. There were people and bird’s alike flying around like kids in a jumping castle. Talons flared and the big guns boomed. “Ebenzo! Get us out now!” Screamed Dad. “Aw,” he said. “This is my favourite part.” Suddenly, the scene fell silent, and the birds turned their gaze to the Mammoth. “Uh-oh,” said Ebenzo. “That doesn’t normally happen.” It was like a Mexican stand-off. The emus stared, and the Mammoth stared back. Then the engine roared, and so did the mob of flightless birds. “Get us out!” screamed someone. Ebenzo started making scared cat noises, and all of a sudden, I felt that familiar tug of being pulled through a time portal.

Chapter 6

The portal closed behind us. “Phew!” said Ebenzo, “Those sure were some angry emus, but lucky for us I think we can rest knowing that there are no more emus here” I looked out the window, the surface was grey and dusty like layers of ash. Looking at the sky, I could see the stars clearer than ever before. I turned towards the horizon and I saw the earth rising over us. We were on the moon.

As we were all gaping and gasping over our new environment, Mum pointed out something else ahead of us. Ebenzo butted in. “Why that looks like the Apollo 11! That must mean we’re in… 1969! And who’s that? None other than Neil Armstrong of course! we should go pay him a visit!” Quentin butted in, “I hate to burst your bubble Ebenzo, but how are we meant to go out with him if we don’t have suits, I mean a human can only last a couple of minutes out in space so what are we going to do?”

Suddenly, Dad started leaping and bounding with excitement, “I have the perfect item for this situation!” and he ran over to one of the storage chests and started to rummage through until he finally pulled out 6 different spacesuits, “I bought these on eBay a while ago and I didn’t have any good use for them… until now!” We suited up and set out to meet up with Neil. It felt so weird walking outside in the near zero gravity we all leaped and bound over to the lone astronaut who was investigating a strange cave deep below the lunar surface. Upon approaching the entrance, I couldn’t help but notice strange markings and characters on the walls. Neil hopped over to us “Uhm, who are you guys mean to be?” he sounded very confused. “You’re not supposed to be here, where did you come from? Why are you here? And is that a Tasmanian tiger?” “Woah dude calm down” Dad said, “We just got chased out of Western Australia by a mob of emus but lucky for us Ebenzo, here is a time travelling Tasmanian tiger and he brought us here.” Suddenly a deep rumble came from down the cave, and footsteps could be felt getting closer and closer until “Blarg!” a giant one-eyed green beast stood before us. Without second thought we all jumped towards the exit with the alien close in pursue. “Quickly!” shouted Ebenzo, “all aboard the Mammoth!” we all got on, except for Neil, who we left outside. “I’m sure he’ll be right” Ebenzo said as he opened a new portal. “away we go!” and we flew into the portal and into our new destination. “I think we are deserving some nice relaxation after all this action. How about Italy?” As soon as Ebenzo said this we were whisked away to another time. I had no idea where we were. Well when I guess, but the first thing we did was shrink the Mammoth, so no one saw it. So much for ‘Mammoth’. However, Mum once again salvaged her voice recorder and whispered furiously into it. Dad was combing what little hair he had, swiping non-existent dust off. As Quentin looked around, when a sudden shout startled us. “Benvenuto! Welcome! Ebenzo it is so good to see you! Who have you brought with you today!” Standing in a doorway was a wiry man with a prickly beard and messy hair. “Who are you?” Dad asked. “Why, I am Leonardo Da Vinci, but my friends call me Leo. You, little man, cannot call me Leo, but everyone else can.” We all laughed at Dad’s expense. We walked into Leo’s workshop and see all sorts of contraptions and devices. My Mum went into full reporter mode. “Leo, what do you do? What are your current projects?” “Well, I am an inventor, painter, sculptor, architect, scientist and much more. And you,” he said pointing to Quentin, “look like my next inspiration. My new muse!” He exclaimed enthusiastically. “Muse? Me?” Quentin said, looking incredulous while pointing at himself. Chapter 7

“How do you know Ebenzo? How do you get your inspiration?” came from Mum. “More importantly, what have you done with your hair?! And that dress?!” Dad interjected. “Firstly,” Leo said looking annoyed and swishing his clothes, “it is a robe! And, dear lady, Ebenzo visits me with all sorts of fascinating people. You time travelers are so interesting and give me all sorts of ideas for my inventions. Your son has that feeling to him. He is hiding brilliant ideas in that marvelous little head of his, even if he doesn’t know it.” Smiling sweetly, he walked over to my twin and pulled him to a chair, seating across from him and beginning to speak, I don’t know how Leo could see Quentin over the number of colourful knick-knacks clambered on a pile. It truly surprised me that it hasn’t toppled over yet.

Mum went and got her camera from Mammoth. I looked at the camera while she filmed to see my brother doing the most amazing things with his iPad. I knew he was a digital designer, but I had no idea he was so AMAZING!! The colours and the buttons, clicking and flashing. I have been his twin

for 13 years and I never knew. Why didn’t I know? From the looks of Mum and Dad, they didn’t either. They were shocked. “My little boy is so amazing!” Mum exclaimed. “Way to go mate!” yelled Dad in the most Aussie accent I've ever seen. The two of them were so excited as they finished their little filming project and went into the Mammoth to show us. Quentin was wearing a beaming smile and the three of us rushed to embrace him. “You’re so talented” “We are so proud of you!” “You will have to show us everything you can do when we get home little bro.” I teased. “Hey! I am the older twin!” Leo interrupted, “Thank you for that help young sir, a new advancement! This will help so much! I hope you have enjoyed Italy. Although you haven’t seen much.” “How about we do just that?” Mum asked. “It would give us a chance to relax a little.” “Perfect,” Dad said. “Thank you again, young sir, Quentin,” Leo said, “I hope you come back soon. Your iPad is truly fabulous! I think I will work on bigger projects with more sound and colour.” “Bye Leo!” we all say and go outdoors into the sunshine, Rory catching up to us from where we had left him outside. I pat him a little as we wander the streets and find a small patch of green grass, a sort of courtyard where we all settle down. “Well, I can safely say that this was the best holiday that has ever gone wrong.” Mum commented. This trip is the best one we’ve ever been on. We finally came together, we got Quentin out of his shell and understand him better, Mum got the adventure she wanted, Rory got exercise, Dad had more time to spend with us instead of working or worrying about his appearance and I got a happy family. Thank goodness for holidays that go wrong. Good things always come out of the bad if you just believe and look for the opportunity in every situation. Go with the flow and see where life takes you. Connect with people and everything feels so much better. Your family is your support system, and if you let them, your best friends.

FIN